Children of the Universe

b34cf2af552cb0c541b6cc8d0468e8cd photo by Josephine Wall 

You Are A Child Of The Universe, No Less Than Trees & The Stars - You Have A Right To Be Here - And Whether Or Not It Is Clear To You, No Doubt The Universe Is Unfolding As It Should - Max Ehrmann photo by funpicc blogpost

Uh-oh! Mercury is in retrograde! Go ahead and put out a disclaimer to everyone in your life by saying that you may or may not mean the things that you say and therefore you should not be held liable 😉 I know I am definitely feeling the effects of Mercury being in retrograde, however I feel there is a deeper message in the emotions that have arisen in light of the retrograde.

In the last two weeks I have completely reevaluated myself. I am blithely aware of the fact that I have been struggling to find the balance in not only my life, but within me. I keep bouncing back between two realms of myself. One is superficial and one is my essential being. I often don’t realize I am living in a superficial facade of myself until I am unhappy and in a state of “need”. Then I realize that I have deprived myself of spiritual wellness; I haven’t fed my soul, I am parched for the knowledge of the universe, I am lonely for the affection of spending time in nature, I am tired and need stillness in my mind. And because I have deprived myself of these things, I have lost myself. Every human being needs to understand the basic relationship between themselves and the universe. Knowing this helps you to gain insight into yourself and the universe. From this knowledge, success, happiness, and peace are born.

If we stopped focusing our attention on what we don’t have, on materialistic things that we have too much of an attachment to, and on the future instead of the present, we would see things change. The universe is a beautiful and majestic being, understanding its relationship to us is vital for our happiness and success in life. So based on readings I have been doing in books by Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle and David Simon, I am going to share the knowledge I have gained because I feel it is my right to do so as your spiritual sister 🙂

Change is brought about by 2 qualities: Attention and Intention. Attention energizes and Intention transforms. If you focus your attention on something, it will grow stronger and vice versa. Intention on the other hand, triggers the transformation of that energy.

But let me back up real fast and explain the basic science between us and the universe. In order to understand how any of this works, you need to understand that the whole universe (including humans) is the movement of energy and information. That’s it. It is that basic. That’s our essential nature. The only difference between us and a tree is the informational content of our bodies. I love the way Deepak Chopra explains this because he really paints a perfect image, you realize how minuscule you are in the grand scheme of things and I think our ego needs to understand that. We like to play God, but really we are just a piece to this grand puzzle of a universe. So Deepak Chopra breaks it down by saying: 

“On the material level, both you and the tree are made up of the same recycled elements: mostly carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen, and other elements in minute amounts. You could buy these elements in a hardware store for a couple of dollars. The difference, therefore, between you and the tree is not the carbon, or the hydrogen, or the oxygen. In fact, you and the tree are constantly exchanging your carbon and oxygen with each other. The real difference between the two of you is in the energy and the information.”

So what is the difference in our energy and information? The way we process it. As humans, we have a nervous system that is capable of becoming aware of the energy and information we are processing. We experience this information subjectively (thoughts, emotions, etc) and objectively (physically). Not only that, but we are able of consciously changing the information we process. We can pick and choose what informational content we process and therefore change the energy and information in our own quantum field. Our bodies are not separate from the universe. We are nothing but a localized disturbance in the larger quantum field. The larger quantum field-the universe-is our extended selves.

So now that we know our connection to the universe and the 2 qualities of change (attention and intention), how do we put them to use? Well intention and attention go hand in hand, attention is the seed and intention is the fertile ground. Because these 2 qualities go together, they have “infinite organizing power”, meaning the power to organize infinite space-time events all at the same time. This happens every day in our lives. It is how our universe works. Everything that is alive came about from infinite organizing power or simply through the timing from the universe (the cells in our body, reproduction, a blooming flower, etc). In nature, everything correlates and connects with everything else, so this is where trust comes in.

You have to trust in the timing of the universe. Nature is a symphony. Knowing this, you can use this information to make the infinite organizing power work for you. Introduce your intention, relinquish any control you have over the outcome, focus it on the future, because your attention should be on the present moment. You must accept the present for what it is, that shows your trust in things happening as they should. It shows your flexibility with life and your relinquishment of control. Your point of power is in the present moment. Ever notice how when you are completely involved in an activity (work, working out, hanging with friends, etc) and you are completely consumed in the present, things seem to just flow in your life more naturally than when you are stagnant daydreaming about the future or reminiscing about the past? The past and present do not exist and they are still being born in the present moment because you are creating them in your present moment through your thoughts; robbing yourself of precious time in the real-time present.

Your ego loves focusing on the past and future, but you are not your ego. Your ego is responsible for emotions like jealousy, anger, embarrassment, insecurity, etc. Ever notice when you think a thought and you answer yourself? It is like you are observing your own thoughts. Well who is the person thinking those thoughts and who is the person observing them? It is your ego and your essential being; learn to disconnect with your ego, refusing to feed into its drama.

Now, you can always create your future through detached intention (no attachment to any one thing, person, or outcome), but you should never struggle against your present. This is the hardest for me. I constantly do this and once I do, everything else starts to get worse and the whole “when it rains it pours” saying becomes very real for me. I am sure the same can be said for you. This is because when you struggle or resist your present, you are resisting the whole universe.

The past, present, and future are all properties of consciousness. The past is recollection or memory and the future is anticipation. The present is awareness. Time is movement of thought and past and future are born in the imagination, the only thing that is real is the present. When you stop putting restrictions of what you want the future to be like and having this dire attachment to it, you free it and it can then be created from the birth of your desires and intentions. Release it to the universe, trusting it will develop in the right time and in the right way.

If you learn to harness the power of intention you can create anything you desire. Deepak Chopra says there are 5 ways of doing so: 1. Slip into the gap. This means to center yourself into the silent space between your thoughts (this takes practice!) 2. In that state of being, release your intentions and desires. 3. Remain in a state of self-referral (this is my favorite one). This means to remain established in the state of your true self-free from others opinions of you and criticism. Don’t look at yourself through the world’s eyes, stay true to your spirit. 4. Relinquish your attachment to the outcome. Live in the wisdom of uncertainty, enjoying the present moment and the journey of life, even if you don’t know the outcome. The present is a gift which is why it’s called the present. 5. Let the universe handle the details. When you release your intentions and desires into the gap, they have infinite organizing power; trust the universe to orchestrate all the details for you.

I have lived my life this way and I can attest to it working, but it is a commitment and with consistency, you see the best results. Whenever I stop living this way, I slip into a superficial lifestyle and I disconnect from my true self and remain in a state of unhappiness, no matter what’s going good in my life.  I feel it is our natural state of living, to live in harmony with the universe. Yes, we learn about the 5 senses in school growing up, but we have way more. We are spiritual beings in a physical world that is so complex. We experience things like intuition, love, empathy, deja vu’, and many other emotions and senses that we are unable to fully understand. We live in this majestic place, but we distract ourselves with unimportant man-made things, that often result in us feeling unsatisfied.

There is nothing wrong with wanting materialistic things, wealth, a boyfriend/girlfriend, or whatever it is you desire, but you have to first acknowledge your true self and your true essence. The materialistic goods will never make you truly happy if you are not living in your essential state. In addition, your actions need to be motivated by love. If you are seeking wealth for personal gain only or for the sake of the ego, you cut off the flow of energy to yourself and interfere with expression of nature’s intelligence. Love is a universal language. Nature is held together by the energy of love, so acting from a place of love creates a conversation between you and the universe that is understood.

I touched on the book, “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” by Deepak Chopra in a previous post and in this one too. I highly recommend any and every one to read it, you can buy the book here . There is a chapter dedicated to each spiritual law and Chopra is great at helping you understand how and why these are considered “laws of success”. It’s a quick read, you could probably read it in one day, or dedicate a chapter to one day a week and finish it in 7 days. Personally, it changed my life and I hope it has the positive affect on your life that it had on mine.

Lastly, remembering that we are a child of the Universe, working in harmony with it, can help relieve the stress of those times in our lives when we don’t know what the hell we are doing. The universe wants to give us everything we desire, we just need to learn to communicate with it and listen to it. It’s one of the most important relationships that we will forever be working on. And even though you may not know or understand your present moment, say thank you for the gift of a beautiful day and cherish it. Nothing is that big of deal in the grand scheme of things. The only thing constant in life is change, so whatever you are going through, it is temporary…what comfort there is in that!

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When in Hollywood…

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My friend Cecilia lives in Hollywood and I spend a lot of time there. A lot of our pictures are taken in Hollywood and I never cease to be amused by all the loonies there. I actually get quite grossed out by Hollywood lol, well the part where the tourists are and there are strung out Marilyn Monroe’s and Spiderman’s every 5 steps. Ew. I tend to over analyze everything. I am constantly observing everything around me and analyzing the situation. While Cecilia and I were walking the Hollywood strip dodging the homeless, the street performers, the fake celebrities, tourists, break dance groups, etc, my mind was racing. I felt a sense of loneliness, despite being among thousands of people. My first thought and thought I have every time, was “Does this really work for people?”  and then a string of thoughts ensued…”Do people really make a good enough living by putting on these little performances or putting on a dirty batman costume and taking pics with poor 5 year olds who don’t know any better?” “Is it the high in it all?…the attention of feeling like a “somebody” among a city of headliners?” After these questions raced through my mind, one resounding word echoed in my mind…lonliness. Everyone is trying to be a better version of themselves or at least trying to convince everyone else that they are (especially in Hollywood). People want to feel and look important (once again, especially in Hollywood), so people escape from the realities of their lives to drugs, make-believe, fantasy, and whatever the hell else they do in their spare time. It is sad. It is L.A. It is our society. But the journey along the way to wherever they are trying to get to is very lonely. As I looked at the variety of talented and talented-less people, all I could see was the part of themselves that returns home at the end of the night. They most likely return to a small, dark studio, take off all of the ridiculous make up, stare at themselves in the mirror just long enough to reflect back on the person they were before moving to this town, wondering when exactly it was they lost themselves and if it is too late to throw in the towel; But before they entertain these thoughts any longer, they preoccupy their mind with “the dream”; the dream of making it big someday and that if they just wait it out a little longer, all of the struggles, embarrassment, exiles, and loneliness will be well worth it. And if not….well this is their life now. They couldn’t possibly return back to that small town they grew up in. It is better to be among the excitement and wonders of L.A. than anywhere else. I could be totally off and my idea of what kind of lives these people live is totally far-fetched, but I feel I have some sort of empathetic understanding because I can relate. I may not be standing off of Hollywood and Highland  dressed up as a tan skinned Marilyn Monroe, but I did move out to Los Angeles to pursue my dream of working in the fashion industry. It is not any different from the people on Hollywood Blvd or anyone in L.A. for that matter. I find myself getting annoyed by listening to every waiter and retail associate tell me how they are working on a movie, a book, working in fashion, they party with celebrities, blah blah blah. But, that is what this city is all about and even though it annoys me at times, I admire the hustle in everyone. Some people come out here and get wrapped up in the glitz and glam  and the name dropping and end up living a life of perception (looking important without being important), but some people move out here and actually make shit happen and I respect that, it takes discipline. Here I am with a blog among thousands and thousands of other bloggers so I really have no room to talk. However, I do plan to back up my talk. I plan on doing something and not just living a life of perception. It is still so weird for me to stand in front of a camera and take pictures, but I understand that a blog is the best way to represent yourself (especially in the fashion world). I can take this to an employer and say “This is me!” “I picked my outfits, I picked my locations, I picked my style, this is my writing style, this is my personality….this is me!” How cool is that?! When I was 11 years old, I sketched out my own fashion magazine and debuted a new girl on the cover every month with new cover topics as well. It was a magazine that celebrated women. I have always enjoyed writing and find that it is my outlet. The fact that we live in a society now where we can get paid to work in social media and get paid to blog is [pardon my french] fucking awesome!! I am taking advantage of this while I can. I have no idea if my blog will do well, but it is a great outlet and a representation of me; It is mine and that’s good enough reason for me to do it. 

There are days where, like the Hollywood performers, I come home, take my makeup off and stare in the mirror wondering what the hell I am doing. It can all be very lonely. I feel like sometimes I am making my life harder than it needs to be, but then I realize what a stupid notion that is and if I lived my life in my comfort zone, I would forever regret it. I have had this vision for myself since I was little girl and its scary (but totally rad) that I am here pursuing it. I joined the military in hopes of gaining the tuition assistance to attend FIDM in Los Angeles someday and here I am doing it. It is kinda like a higher force is guiding me. Sometimes I don’t even know if I am the one making these decisions. I made them all so irrationally. I joined the Air Force knowing nothing about it except they pay for school. I didn’t even know if I would get accepted into FIDM, or if FIDM was covered under the GI Bill (Thank God [literally] that it was), I had actually started to change my mind on going to FIDM while I was stationed in Oklahoma City. I decided to reenlist, get married, and stay in Oklahoma City. I felt it was the safer route. Then my mom got sick and I had to relocate to California to take care of her. Deep down, I felt this gravitational pull that it  was meant for me to come back to California. Of course, it was 100% about my mother when I returned, but I also found it ironic that as soon as I had let go of the idea of ever going back home or to FIDM, I found myself back home and FIDM was once again on the table. I had desperately wanted to come back the first few years of my enlistment, dragging my feet the whole time to every new state I lived in. I even applied to get out of the military early which they approved, and then I applied to FIDM, and I got accepted, but when it came time to leave the Air Force, I panicked. My mom was up in arms that I was not fulfilling my contract to the Air Force and she was right, I took an oath and I needed to fulfill my end of the deal. The whole back and forth decision about FIDM and the military was exhausting and when it was all said and done, I finally released my hold on California and FIDM and just accepted where I was at. I felt I had a good enough life, I was living the “American Dream”. I had security, something the rest of the nation was desperate over. I was engaged, living in a brand new 3 bedroom house (bigger than my moms), I had a new car, I was pursuing my degree for free, I could retire at 38! I had a promising future, and was excelling exceptionally fast at work. Still though, like clockwork, every single night before I went to bed, I imagined what my life would be like if I took a chance and pursued my dream. The thought would paralyze me with fear. Everything would change. I fought with myself internally for months, sometimes crying myself to sleep or lashing out at my fiance due to feeling resentment towards him. I kinda laugh when I look back at it now because if you care about something that much, you go after it. There is a reason you feel that way, it’s who you are and you are happiest when you stay true to who you are. Ironically enough, when I had to move back to California, I didn’t want to. I had already accepted that FIDM and California was not an option for me and while my mom never supported me leaving the military to work in fashion, right before she passed away, she saw my first blog that  I had created back in 2011 and changed her mind. She genuinely had no idea how passionate I was about fashion and for the first time, supported me leaving the military to pursue my dream. That was all I needed to move forward. I get excited when I imagine my life 5 years from now, because I wonder where I will be and what I will be doing. Following your dreams is such a beautiful thing. It is one of the beautiful rides of life. I encourage everyone to just do it. Don’t let fear paralyze you and dictate your life. Take control.

So…Yeah…..my post had nothing to do with my pictures, but it was on my heart so I figured I would talk about it. Dreams, love, struggles, intuition, dogma, purpose, etc are all topics I can talk about forever. I may only be 24, but I have gone through more things in my life than most people will ever go though. I am an old soul and wise beyond my years. Sometimes I purposely act out because I just wanna be stupid and immature, which I genuinely am sometimes. I still have a lot to learn about this thing called life, but God has also revealed a lot to me about life, starting at a young age. I may be young, but I think I get it….maybe 😉 

Ok, so onto the important stuff….what I’m wearing. 

Headband Urban Outfitters Top Madewell Jeans Madewell Bag Victoria Leather Co (got it in Mammoth, CA), Shoes Zara, Sunglasses Cheap Monday, Necklaces Dogeared Jewelry and Urban Outfitters

I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes from the late Steve Jobs, it’s very fitting: 

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs