What the World Needs Now is Love…and A Woman’s Touch

wecandoit

“We are standing in the vibration of a sacred prophecy. The prophecy tells us that consciousness is preparing the spirit of the feminine, the spirit of the grandmothers…” 13 Grandmothers Council

First things first, the intention of this post is not to stand on a social activists soap box, but rather to shed light on some things by questioning the norms. Here is the skinny: I believe the current state of our world is on the brink of a revolution. With our world being in the worst shape ever, people are challenging society norms and rebelling without a cause. One of the norms being challenged today is the evolution of women in the workplace. With more women stepping into leadership roles and multi-tasking their roles at home and in the workplace, I feel this is the perfect recipe for a revolution that may be looming on the horizon.

For as long as we can remember, men have always been the ones in positions of power, but that may not last much longer. We desperately need equality and balance in the world. Our universe strives and demands balance in order to operate properly, this is a notion that most of us know, but do not thoroughly understand. Less than 3% of America’s largest companies have female leaders and millennial women are still being paid less than men. As women rise to power, kicking old ways of thinking to the side, they are met with resistance and unreasonable expectations. Women are scrutinized for their looks, their decisions, and met with an insane amount of double standards. Today’s businesses still cater to men, it’s a boys club in which “the boys” have yet to advance with the times, leaving things unbalanced and unfair.

One of the biggest double standards to date is the notion that women are considered bossy or a bitch, when reaching roles of leadership. Women are unable to lead, manage, run a business, etc the same way as a man without often time, being considered “cold”. Why?

Additionally and a little separate from the issue above, I have found that some women are turning to their sexuality to do so. Yes, we all know how powerful a woman’s sexuality is; sex sells right? However, I feel like we are going about it the wrong way. Owning your sexuality is a badass and beautiful thing! But ask yourself, if you are truly doing it for you or if you’re trying to fill some insecurity/void by likes? The wannabe instagram models are a perfect example. There are SO many girls whose sole purpose of using Instgram is for validation from men to feel better about themselves. Like, deep deep down, posting a picture of your ass and tits out, while donning a snapchat filtered face screams “give me attention” , “tell me how hot I am”, which translates to “make me feel good”. Of course all of the thirsty guys will throw you some attention. Why not? They’ll throw anything with a vagina some attention. But why do you need their validation at all? Why would you want attention from that simple-minded of a guy? And to be honest, by doing that, we are still playing the game that men have us chained to. Needing their validation? Come on….As a woman, I am NOT here for your sexual pleasure, fantasies, etc. My purpose for existing is much more than that and I have so much more to offer.

Ok back to inequality in the workplace. For quite some time, we have been trying to prove that we are just as capable as men and can be just as successful as men, but even though it is the year 2014, women are still running into inequality in the workplace; it’s frustrating. But when we dumb ourselves down and turn to our sexuality as the only means to get ahead, we are actually holding ourselves back; we are not being respected by our fellow women and we damn sure aren’t being respected by men. When we do this, we are playing right into the “machine” that has oppressed women all these years and we are only receiving momentary power.

There is a notion that as women we should control our emotions, tone down our femininity (or at lease the traits that annoy men), turn up our sexuality, and think more like a man to be successful. That seems backward and confusing to me. If we want to move forward as women and be treated equal, then we need to act like women. Changing ourselves to act like men won’t give us the equality we desire; it’s counterproductive.  Why should men take us seriously if we are not taking ourselves seriously? Yes, we are women. We are emotional beings, we love easily, we can be sensitive, we over think things, we are complex by nature, but that doesn’t hinder our ability to be as successful as a man. Why are so many qualities of being a woman associated with weakness? It is someone else’s perception of weakness, but enough people need to have the insight to question the norm and ask why.

I truly believe women have always been revolutionaries, but in the coming years, I feel that the entire world will see just how progressive and innovative women are. Today, women are hungry and determined to show their ability to handle power, openly celebrating the liberation of women on the way. The term “feminist” has been thrown around, often being attached to any woman who voices her opinion on the equality of the sexes. But what exactly is feminism? Is it a woman dressed in butch, taking on every construction, plumbing, or drywall job with much success all while screaming for women’s rights while waiving around a sledgehammer? Is it a Peta-loving, vegan-eating, woman dressed in all natural and recyclable clothing, swearing off all relations with men until women earn the same pay wage as men? No, that is not a feminist. By definition, a feminist is a person who believes that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. This includes social, political, and economic equality for both men and women. So why the hate, slander and stereotyping? Shouldn’t we all believe in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes? My opinion is because people fear it, they shame it. If there was equality in our world, that would be a change and people fear change.

With liberation movements like Ban Bossy and days like International Women’s Day, I hope that women continue to find the strength necessary to kick through society’s “double-standard-doors” and change the world by adding their feminine touch, creating balance in our universe. The same ol’ way is not working anymore. The men in power have been leading us through wars, fights, lies, greed, and placing their own ego above the needs of other people.

The world needs love; it needs a feminine spirit and the necessary poise between men and women. I hope women everywhere embrace their inner boss and stay true to themselves, celebrating and owning being a woman. We are masterful multi-taskers, built to withstand stressors and pressures both physically and mentally that men cannot even fathom. We don’t have anything to prove…we birth boys for crying out loud and teach them how to be men! I am not sure at what age we began getting the notion in our head that we have to be more like men in order to be successful, but that is a lie. Being a woman is more than enough. If we want equality, we need to restore the femininity back into our girls and it all starts with us.

Now,  I’ll leave you in the hands of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, the woman who enlightened us on Beyonce’s, “Flawless” song…because duh.

“We teach girls to shrink themselves
To make themselves smaller
We say to girls,
“You can have ambition
But not too much
You should aim to be successful
But not too successful
Otherwise you will threaten the man.”
Because I am female
I am expected to aspire to marriage
I am expected to make my life choices
Always keeping in mind that
Marriage is the most important
Now marriage can be a source of
Joy and love and mutual support
But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage
And we don’t teach boys the same?
We raise girls to see each other as competitors
Not for jobs or for accomplishments
Which I think can be a good thing
But for the attention of men
We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings
In the way that boys are
Feminist: the person who believes in the social
Political, and economic equality of the sexes”

Advertisements

Happy Mother’s Day

 

 

 

ImageImageImage

 

Image

There is no love like a mother’s love. On this day, I always find myself thinking about the beautifully intrinsic relationship my mom and I shared. I think about the things my mom sacrificed for me. She slaved for me, celebrated me, provided for me, but most of all she loved me in spite of my ugliness. By ugliness, I mean that ugly behavior and attitude that likes to show itself every once in a while (those close to me know what I’m talking about). Well, in December 2011, my mom passed away from a nasty brain tumor, called Glioblastoma.  Every Mother’s day since has been a little different. I notice that as this day approaches, I subconsciously begin to pull away from people; desiring to be alone while becoming entranced in this “dream-like” state where I somehow walk around without any thoughts in my head. The littlest of things will bring on a tidal wave of emotions and I easily cry, get offended, and am overall sensitive to everything and everyone around me. As if my body and mind have been hijacked, I feel like a passenger to my life. I start behaving in weird ways, thinking self-destructive thoughts and quickly move from extrovert to introvert. My relationships begin to suffer and I am dumbfounded as to what is going on with me. However, like clockwork, on the weekend of Mother’s Day it dawns on me that I am acting this way because I miss my mom.

I had been walking around taking in the sight of Mother’s day decorations, Mother’s Day gift ideas, hearing about Mother’s Day on the radio and so whether I acknowledged it or not consciously, I had already developed feelings about this day in my subconscious. Around Mother’s day, the simple thought of my mom brings on an avalanche of emotions that range from irritability to deep sadness. This year the same pattern began, but I caught onto it early.

This year, I choose to celebrate her whether she is here or not. I can honestly say that I am happy for my mother. She is in a much better place and free of all the pain and suffering she endured on earth. I know a lot of people say that and it sounds like a bunch of bull shit, but I mean it. I understood early on that we as humans are merely energy forms, spiritual beings living in a human vessel – having experiences in a physical world. My mom never died, her physical embodiment did. But, my mom is not her physical self, she’s so much more than that. She was a lively, humorous, smart, loving, emotional, strong spirit with deep-rooted values and beliefs. I would never describe my mom as just the physical manifestation (even though she was a total hottie), because that is not who she was…that’s just what she looked like. Understanding this has always provided me comfort and I don’t find myself easily shaken by her physical death because I know I will see her again. I feel her with me on some days and am reminded yet again that she is always watching over me. However, that being said, there are still days like today, my birthday, and Christmas where I miss the hell out of her. I want her physically with me. I long to feel her stroke my hair, rub my back, and look at me like only she can, eyes filled with admiration and love.

Growing up, I had horrible self-esteem. I went through an incredibly awkward stage (as we all do) and was chubby with frizzy hair and braces that formed a zig-zagged pattern in my mouth because my teeth were that crooked. I genuinely hated looking in the mirror and while getting ready for school, I would stare in the mirror and sob at my reflection. Every night (and I mean every night), I would pray to God that I would wake up looking different. I prayed that he would make me pretty and I became obsessed with the idea of beauty. I also struggled with the fact that I was mixed (Black, White and Hawaiian). I felt like I wasn’t able to identify with anyone and instead of embracing my unique beauty, I shamed it.

One weekend when I was about 13 years old, I was lying on my mother’s bed, watching her get ready (something I always did) and she came over and lied down next to me and just stared at me. There was so much admiration and love in her eyes and I was confused by it all. She then whispered, “You are so beautiful Jasmine”. Even more confused, I thought, “How could she say that?” ,”How does she do that?” “How can she say something like that and mean it? What does she see that I don’t?” Then in typical teen fashion, I got upset, saying to myself, “Of course it’s easy for her to say that, she’s beautiful. She doesn’t get it.” As if reading my thoughts, she said again, “You really are Jasmine, you are so beautiful.” I felt my guard slowly come down and I began to wonder if it was true. It wasn’t her saying it that helped me to accept myself, it was the look in her eyes. She meant it and if she meant it, then it had to be true. I later witnessed that same look in her eyes the day before she passed.

My mom always told me she loved me and she always celebrated my life and the things I did with it. She was so proud of me all the time; often embarrassing me by bragging about my accomplishments to her friends and co-workers. In her last months, I really felt I let her down. I was angry with the fact that she was dying and would reluctantly spend time with her.  At 21 years old, you don’t necessarily have the best insight on how to handle your mother dying. And to be honest, if it happened at my age now, I am not too sure I wouldn’t act the same bitchy way. Loss has an interesting way of bringing out a side of you, you didn’t know existed. Only by learning by regret/mistake can I honestly say that I would act completely different now.

The brain tumor caused my mom to lose all of her motor skills. She needed to be fed, changed, bathed and everything else in between. It was hard for me to see my beautiful and young mother struggling; I didn’t recognize her as my mom. My house was full of family, distant relatives, nurses, hired assistants, and people of the church and community, all of which volunteered to help take care of her. I was grateful for this, but also annoyed by the constant unwanted opinions they felt they needed to share with me. Feeling like it would be best for me, they would often try and pressure me into feeding her, changing her, etc, but it made me uncomfortable and because they kept pushing me to do something I wasn’t ready for, it only made me withdraw from my mom more.

I retreated to my own personal space and found any excuse to not be at my mom’s house. As Christmas neared, I kept praying that as a “Christmas miracle”, she would magically be better again and we could all just put this behind us and move on; I was in utter denial. The exact opposite was happening. She had been asleep for 3 straight days, a sign of her body shutting down. I missed her so much and became terrified that she was going to pass without me saying goodbye. I was told that my mom was holding on for my brother and I and that we needed to give her the “ok” to go. I didn’t want to. I needed her to be awake one last time. I needed to hear her voice one last time. I hadn’t heard her speak in a month and I was forgetting the sound of her voice. Later one night, she awoke. However, she was gone in the eyes…she stared into the abyss and I stared at her back, wondering what world she was witnessing. Does she see me? Why doesn’t she see me? I kept trying to follow her eyes, but she was looking right through me…it scared me. I left the room accepting the fact that my mom was gone, I began contemplating how I was going to muster up the courage to tell her she can let go. Would she even hear me? Would she even know it’s me? The doctor had informed me that the hearing is the last to go, so I felt I needed to decide quickly because it was evident what was happening to my mother.

Later that night, I crept into my mom’s room, hoping no one would come in after me and I sat and watched her. Like word vomit, I apologized for everything in my life that I had ever done to her, especially my horrible performance as a daughter lately. I told her I was sorry and I was scared of losing her. I didn’t want her to go. I began confessing my fears of her leaving and all the things she will miss (my wedding, pregnancy, career, etc). In that moment, I released all my emotions and cried the hardest I have in my entire life. Leaning slightly on her, desperately wanting her to stroke my hair, I cried onto her stomach – feeling like I just wanted to crawl back into her womb. How am I supposed to go on without my best friend and first love?

Her head was turned away from me the whole time and when I lifted my head off her stomach to wipe the snot and tears off my face, she slowly turned towards me and we locked eyes. In that moment she looked at me with admiration and love, much like the time when I was 13 years old, lying on her bed. With her eyes, she stroked my hair, rubbed my back, and told me how proud she was of me. I had never witnessed someone saying “I love you” with their eyes, until that day. In that moment, my mom had returned to me and I had her with me one last time.  I didn’t want that moment to end and as I saw her slowly slip back into whatever alternate space she was in before, I knew I had received what I needed to let her go. The next night, my brother and I told her we would be OK without her and she didn’t need to hold on for us. We held her, loved on her, and cried on her. That night she passed.

They say you never know what you have until it’s gone and unfortunately that is so true (although, I am making daily choices to cherish those around me, so this doesn’t have to be true anymore). My mom and I had an amazing relationship, but I did not understand her love for me until she passed. I think about the ways I treated her and how easily annoyed I would get with her, but we as children know we can do that because our mothers will love us regardless. They love us unconditionally. To them, we are the most beautiful, smartest, most talented, funniest, and awesome human being created.  I mean come on, they created us so we have to be, right? 😉 They will gladly set aside their own dreams, goals, and life to just make us happy. No one can love you like a mother. There is a connection between children and their mothers that not even a father can understand. We are one with them for 9 months and that oneness stays with us for a lifetime and beyond. Whether they pass away or not, they will always be our mother and they will always protect us from harm, it’s their duty that they so proudly take on.

My mom may have passed, but she didn’t do so without teaching me an important lesson, one that has made me who I am today. In her last months, she forgave, she loved, she laughed, and was devoted to living in the NOW; she was the happiest I had ever seen her. She confirmed that be telling me that despite having cancer, she was the happiest she’s ever been. She finally understood life and let go of anything else that didn’t contribute positivity. I am still floored by how beautifully and gracefully she handled it all and I live my life by the same values she had in her last year. I relinquish any selfishness, negativity, resentment and pain, and I choose happiness.

Happy Mother’s day to all of the mother’s out there!! And Happy Mother’s day to my favorite woman- my mammas.

Settling in…

DSC_1809 DSC_1811 DSC_1810 DSC_1807 DSC_1804 DSC_1802 DSC_1797 DSC_1792 DSC_1786 DSC_1783

So I wore this lil outfit to the cover release party for Annex Magazine, featuring Karrueche Tran and Don Benjamin. I have ALWAYS wanted to work for a magazine; it is my dream job – second to being a rock star. One of my girlfriends (who works for the magazine) invited me to the party and I was able to see what she does first hand. By the end of the night, I had worked some networking in, did a lil dancing, and probably drank a tad too much, but nonetheless, I had a blast! The next day I decided to apply to work at the magazine and am now the newest member! I finally feel like I am settling into Los Angeles. I can get around without using my navigation system, I have developed a close group of friends and networks, and I am genuinely comfortable here. I recently moved from downtown L.A. to Hollywood and love it! Now that I have this amazing internship, on top of starting my second year at an amazing school, and I am settled into my new home,  I feel like I can take a deep breath and take time to be proud of myself. I am sincerely happy. My life feels like it is gaining momentum and moving in a very positive direction! Cheers to chasing your dreams!

 

My outfit is another great deal from Forever 21:

Jacket Forever 21 Romper Forever 21 Shoes Jeffrey Campbell Necklace J.Crew Belt Urban Outfitters Sunglasses Ray-Bans Purse H&M

International Women’s Day

womens-day

Disclaimer: I am not bashing men and I apologize if it comes off that way. I believe in equality, I don’t find one sex better than the other or one sex weaker than the other. I love my men and appreciate my men! Today though, is all about women…girl power! 🙂

In honor of International Women’s Day, I am finally writing a post about women. I have been wanting to write one for quite some time now, but haven’t been able to find the time.For the last couple weeks, who we are as women, has been a question that has been plaguing me everyday. In one of my classes at FIDM, we are required to come to class every week with a “leader in the news” and speak about their life, their leadership qualities, and their impact on the world. We have been doing this for the past 10 weeks, and I have noticed that majority of our leaders have been men. There were some women mentioned like Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, and Oprah, but majority of the women mentioned were celebrities. I am not knocking celebrities as actual leaders, but I found it a little sad that collectively, we were struggling to find women leaders within our world who aren’t celebrities. One day I logged onto my Instagram and in true modern-day stalker fashion, I somehow found myself on pages of people I didn’t even know and I jumped from page to page of all these different girls, examining their lives through their Instagram. There was this common trend among them all…their pages looked something like this: Quotes about haters, bitches, “chasin paper”, “think like a man, act like a bitch” (yes I’ve actually seen this), extreme narcissism, and a lot of negativity often focused on bashing other women. I kept wondering, “Do these girls ever strive to stimulate themselves intellectually? Or do their lives revolve around social media and seeking the attention of followers they don’t even know?” I not only found myself exhausted by all of the negative energy on their pages, but also worried about our generation of women. Everyone is calling everyone a “basic”, but they are all exactly like each other…in reality they should all be besties :/ . Another sad factor to me was that I found that the Real Housewives of [whatever], Basketball Wives, and all the other similar women on similar shows have become the role models of our generation and the generations after us. They often turn these TV shows into a lucrative career for themselves and capitalize on the 15 minutes they get. I am not knocking their hustle, I get it. I just feel the way women are going about it, is all wrong. The thing is, I feel that most of us women want the same thing, equality. For quite some time, we have been trying to prove that we are just as capable as men and can be just as successful as men, but even though it is the year 2014, women are still running into inequality in the workplace; its frustrating. But when we dumb ourselves down and turn to our sexuality as the only means to get ahead, we are actually holding ourselves back; we are not being respected by our fellow women and we damn sure aren’t being respected by men. They are not viewing us as equals in the workplace, they are viewing us as….well….do I really need to say it? We are playing right into the “machine” that has oppressed women all these years. Objectifying ourselves and using our sexuality, as a way to gain power and control doesn’t get us taken more seriously as women; it only gives us momentary power. And in addition, putting each other down and hurting each other doesn’t help us either, we need to unite. 

As women we all can use our sexuality to get ahead, it doesn’t take any real talent, but how does that prove anything? It doesn’t. For some reason, there is this notion that as women we need to not show any emotion, tone down our feminine qualities, turn up our sexuality, and act more like a man to be successful. That seems backwards to me…and confusing. If we want to move forward as women and be treated equal, then we need to act like women. Changing ourselves to act like men won’t give us the equality we desire; it’s counterproductive.  Why should men take us serious if we are not taking ourselves serious? Yes, we are women. We are emotional beings, we love easily, we can be sensitive, we over think things, we are complex by nature, but that doesn’t hinder our ability to be as successful as a man. Why are so many qualities of being a woman associated with weakness? It is someone else’s perception of weakness, but enough people need to have the insight to question the norm and ask why. Don’t just jump on the bandwagon. Being emotional isn’t weak. I find it beautiful. To be easily moved by the people, places, and things put in your life and to be able to connect with them on a deeper level is a beautiful thing. When you are emotional, there is a sense of empathy that is existent in every aspect of your life, and having empathy towards others is not only essential in successful relationships, but essential in being a successful leader. I feel as women, we have inherent qualities and traits that are made for leading. We silently lead everyday, whether it be in our households, families, schools, relationships, etc. We are masterful multi-taskers and God built us to withstand stressors and pressures both physically and mentally that men cannot even fathom. We don’t have anything to prove…we pop boys out of our vaginas for crying out loud and teach them how to be men! 😉 I am not sure at what age we begin getting the notion in our head that we have to be more like men in order to be successful, but that is a lie. If we want equality, we need to restore the femininity back into our girls. Screaming for women’s rights or claiming feminism while stripping ourselves of our authentic femininity will never give us the equality we desire. 

“Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy-washy. Blah blah. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things. Whether it’s a song, a stranger, a mountain, a rain drop, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep, feel it all – look around you. All of this is for you. Take it and have gratitude. Give it and feel love.” – Zooey Deschanel

 

Please check out my friend Nicole’s blog post,  Why I Believe Women Will Be the Next RevolutionariesIt is totally brilliant. Her view on oppression of women all over the world gave her the eventual insight on how optimistic our future can be if we just learn to forgive and love. 

 

Children of the Universe

b34cf2af552cb0c541b6cc8d0468e8cd photo by Josephine Wall 

You Are A Child Of The Universe, No Less Than Trees & The Stars - You Have A Right To Be Here - And Whether Or Not It Is Clear To You, No Doubt The Universe Is Unfolding As It Should - Max Ehrmann photo by funpicc blogpost

Uh-oh! Mercury is in retrograde! Go ahead and put out a disclaimer to everyone in your life by saying that you may or may not mean the things that you say and therefore you should not be held liable 😉 I know I am definitely feeling the effects of Mercury being in retrograde, however I feel there is a deeper message in the emotions that have arisen in light of the retrograde.

In the last two weeks I have completely reevaluated myself. I am blithely aware of the fact that I have been struggling to find the balance in not only my life, but within me. I keep bouncing back between two realms of myself. One is superficial and one is my essential being. I often don’t realize I am living in a superficial facade of myself until I am unhappy and in a state of “need”. Then I realize that I have deprived myself of spiritual wellness; I haven’t fed my soul, I am parched for the knowledge of the universe, I am lonely for the affection of spending time in nature, I am tired and need stillness in my mind. And because I have deprived myself of these things, I have lost myself. Every human being needs to understand the basic relationship between themselves and the universe. Knowing this helps you to gain insight into yourself and the universe. From this knowledge, success, happiness, and peace are born.

If we stopped focusing our attention on what we don’t have, on materialistic things that we have too much of an attachment to, and on the future instead of the present, we would see things change. The universe is a beautiful and majestic being, understanding its relationship to us is vital for our happiness and success in life. So based on readings I have been doing in books by Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle and David Simon, I am going to share the knowledge I have gained because I feel it is my right to do so as your spiritual sister 🙂

Change is brought about by 2 qualities: Attention and Intention. Attention energizes and Intention transforms. If you focus your attention on something, it will grow stronger and vice versa. Intention on the other hand, triggers the transformation of that energy.

But let me back up real fast and explain the basic science between us and the universe. In order to understand how any of this works, you need to understand that the whole universe (including humans) is the movement of energy and information. That’s it. It is that basic. That’s our essential nature. The only difference between us and a tree is the informational content of our bodies. I love the way Deepak Chopra explains this because he really paints a perfect image, you realize how minuscule you are in the grand scheme of things and I think our ego needs to understand that. We like to play God, but really we are just a piece to this grand puzzle of a universe. So Deepak Chopra breaks it down by saying: 

“On the material level, both you and the tree are made up of the same recycled elements: mostly carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen, and other elements in minute amounts. You could buy these elements in a hardware store for a couple of dollars. The difference, therefore, between you and the tree is not the carbon, or the hydrogen, or the oxygen. In fact, you and the tree are constantly exchanging your carbon and oxygen with each other. The real difference between the two of you is in the energy and the information.”

So what is the difference in our energy and information? The way we process it. As humans, we have a nervous system that is capable of becoming aware of the energy and information we are processing. We experience this information subjectively (thoughts, emotions, etc) and objectively (physically). Not only that, but we are able of consciously changing the information we process. We can pick and choose what informational content we process and therefore change the energy and information in our own quantum field. Our bodies are not separate from the universe. We are nothing but a localized disturbance in the larger quantum field. The larger quantum field-the universe-is our extended selves.

So now that we know our connection to the universe and the 2 qualities of change (attention and intention), how do we put them to use? Well intention and attention go hand in hand, attention is the seed and intention is the fertile ground. Because these 2 qualities go together, they have “infinite organizing power”, meaning the power to organize infinite space-time events all at the same time. This happens every day in our lives. It is how our universe works. Everything that is alive came about from infinite organizing power or simply through the timing from the universe (the cells in our body, reproduction, a blooming flower, etc). In nature, everything correlates and connects with everything else, so this is where trust comes in.

You have to trust in the timing of the universe. Nature is a symphony. Knowing this, you can use this information to make the infinite organizing power work for you. Introduce your intention, relinquish any control you have over the outcome, focus it on the future, because your attention should be on the present moment. You must accept the present for what it is, that shows your trust in things happening as they should. It shows your flexibility with life and your relinquishment of control. Your point of power is in the present moment. Ever notice how when you are completely involved in an activity (work, working out, hanging with friends, etc) and you are completely consumed in the present, things seem to just flow in your life more naturally than when you are stagnant daydreaming about the future or reminiscing about the past? The past and present do not exist and they are still being born in the present moment because you are creating them in your present moment through your thoughts; robbing yourself of precious time in the real-time present.

Your ego loves focusing on the past and future, but you are not your ego. Your ego is responsible for emotions like jealousy, anger, embarrassment, insecurity, etc. Ever notice when you think a thought and you answer yourself? It is like you are observing your own thoughts. Well who is the person thinking those thoughts and who is the person observing them? It is your ego and your essential being; learn to disconnect with your ego, refusing to feed into its drama.

Now, you can always create your future through detached intention (no attachment to any one thing, person, or outcome), but you should never struggle against your present. This is the hardest for me. I constantly do this and once I do, everything else starts to get worse and the whole “when it rains it pours” saying becomes very real for me. I am sure the same can be said for you. This is because when you struggle or resist your present, you are resisting the whole universe.

The past, present, and future are all properties of consciousness. The past is recollection or memory and the future is anticipation. The present is awareness. Time is movement of thought and past and future are born in the imagination, the only thing that is real is the present. When you stop putting restrictions of what you want the future to be like and having this dire attachment to it, you free it and it can then be created from the birth of your desires and intentions. Release it to the universe, trusting it will develop in the right time and in the right way.

If you learn to harness the power of intention you can create anything you desire. Deepak Chopra says there are 5 ways of doing so: 1. Slip into the gap. This means to center yourself into the silent space between your thoughts (this takes practice!) 2. In that state of being, release your intentions and desires. 3. Remain in a state of self-referral (this is my favorite one). This means to remain established in the state of your true self-free from others opinions of you and criticism. Don’t look at yourself through the world’s eyes, stay true to your spirit. 4. Relinquish your attachment to the outcome. Live in the wisdom of uncertainty, enjoying the present moment and the journey of life, even if you don’t know the outcome. The present is a gift which is why it’s called the present. 5. Let the universe handle the details. When you release your intentions and desires into the gap, they have infinite organizing power; trust the universe to orchestrate all the details for you.

I have lived my life this way and I can attest to it working, but it is a commitment and with consistency, you see the best results. Whenever I stop living this way, I slip into a superficial lifestyle and I disconnect from my true self and remain in a state of unhappiness, no matter what’s going good in my life.  I feel it is our natural state of living, to live in harmony with the universe. Yes, we learn about the 5 senses in school growing up, but we have way more. We are spiritual beings in a physical world that is so complex. We experience things like intuition, love, empathy, deja vu’, and many other emotions and senses that we are unable to fully understand. We live in this majestic place, but we distract ourselves with unimportant man-made things, that often result in us feeling unsatisfied.

There is nothing wrong with wanting materialistic things, wealth, a boyfriend/girlfriend, or whatever it is you desire, but you have to first acknowledge your true self and your true essence. The materialistic goods will never make you truly happy if you are not living in your essential state. In addition, your actions need to be motivated by love. If you are seeking wealth for personal gain only or for the sake of the ego, you cut off the flow of energy to yourself and interfere with expression of nature’s intelligence. Love is a universal language. Nature is held together by the energy of love, so acting from a place of love creates a conversation between you and the universe that is understood.

I touched on the book, “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” by Deepak Chopra in a previous post and in this one too. I highly recommend any and every one to read it, you can buy the book here . There is a chapter dedicated to each spiritual law and Chopra is great at helping you understand how and why these are considered “laws of success”. It’s a quick read, you could probably read it in one day, or dedicate a chapter to one day a week and finish it in 7 days. Personally, it changed my life and I hope it has the positive affect on your life that it had on mine.

Lastly, remembering that we are a child of the Universe, working in harmony with it, can help relieve the stress of those times in our lives when we don’t know what the hell we are doing. The universe wants to give us everything we desire, we just need to learn to communicate with it and listen to it. It’s one of the most important relationships that we will forever be working on. And even though you may not know or understand your present moment, say thank you for the gift of a beautiful day and cherish it. Nothing is that big of deal in the grand scheme of things. The only thing constant in life is change, so whatever you are going through, it is temporary…what comfort there is in that!

Griffith Observatory

DSC_1433 DSC_1563 DSC_1571 DSC_1572 DSC_1580 DSC_1581 DSC_1610 DSC_1614 DSC_1586 DSC_1590 DSC_1593 DSC_1596 DSC_1597 DSC_1508 DSC_1512 DSC_1521-1

If there is one thing you do while visiting Los Angeles, visit Griffith Observatory. As you could probably tell from my Runyon Canyon post, I love nature and am very moved by it. The view from the observatory is breath-taking. It overlooks the Los Angeles basin and there is a serene calmness in the air that overcomes your entire body. I also grew up obsessed with astronomy, so naturally the observatory and all of their space and science displays were so cool to me. They also have a park that I didn’t get to spend much time in, but I plan on going back to do some hiking. I can’t say enough good things about this place. It is the type of place where you think of everyone in your life who would enjoy coming here and a plan a way to get them here. Do you do that? Or is it just me? I love sharing moments with people, so I am constantly doing that. Unlike most places in Los Angeles, the parking is free (which makes me wanna do the cabbage patch dance every time). So, you really can plan a stress free day of heading up to Griffith, checking out the scenery, park for free ( currently dancing), chill for as long as you like, enjoy a packed lunch, and just enjoy the simplicity of it all. I really enjoyed taking pictures here, the lighting was great and the weather was perfect! I hope we were able to capture a little bit of the essence of Griffith that day. Enjoy!

Jacket Muubaa Top Lace Slip  Jeans Madewell  Boots Zara Sunglasses Cheap Monday

 

Runyon Canyon

DSC_1339 DSC_1341 DSC_1355 DSC_1365 DSC_1367

“When you discover your essential nature and know who you really are, in that knowing itself is the ability to fulfill any dream you have, because you are the eternal possibility, the immeasurable potential of all that was, is, and will be.” -Deepak Chopra

According to Deepak Chopra, the first spiritual law of success is the Law of Pure Potentiality. It is the field of all possibilities and infinite creativity. It is based on the fact that we are in a state of pure consciousness. We are infinite and unbounded which is also the same as experiencing pure joy, this is our spiritual essence.  There are many ways to experience and practice this law, but one of them is spending time in nature. Spending time in nature gives you infinite creativity, freedom, and bliss.  By spending time in nature, you receive a sense of unity with all of the elements of life. You are a bundle of manifested energy and by spending time in nature you connect with all of nature’s intelligence. This relationship will help you gain insight to yourself, mirroring your true essence;  every relationship is a reflection of your relationship with yourself. Learn to get in touch with your most inner self. Deepak Chopra says it best, “Your true essence is beyond the ego. It is fearless, it is free; it is immune to criticism, it does not fear any challenge. It is beneath no one, superior to no one, and full of magic, mystery, and enchantment.” The universe has an unbounded and unlimited amount of creativity, developing a relationship with it will help you gain access to your own infinite and unbounded creativity, but first you have to go beyond your own turbulent inner dialogue and be still. 

“You need not leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. You need not even listen, simply wait. You need not even wait, just learn to become quiet, and still, and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked. It has no choice; it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.” – Franz Kafka

Yoga Pants Onzie (Skullies)

I HIGHLY recommend Deepak Chopra’s “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”. It is a quick read and a life changer. If you are not familiar with Chopra, he is considered the “new age guru” and praised by Oprah and many celebrities. However, that’s not why I like him; I love his views on life, the mind, body, and soul. He has many guided meditations available via YouTube or on his website. He also has a retreat center located in Oceanside, CA. My best friend worked there and it is beautiful! Classes and seminars are offered there, as well as a luxurious day spa. He has many books that cover an array of topics, but I feel this one is a good one to have as principles for life. Check it out. 

Cheers Y’all!

DSC_0965 DSC_0967 DSC_0972

 

So I said that I would post some pics from my all girls Valentines day. I don’t know why our dumb asses didn’t take any pictures together, but we got plenty of pictures of the food and drinks we had. We had 2 bottles of champagne and 4 bottles of wine. We also had 3 boxes of chocolates, I made homemade chocolate chip cookies (I would post my secret recipe, but it is a secret for a reason ;)) , chocolate covered strawberries, and 2 boxes of pizza. Pathetic? naaaah. It went exactly how you are probably picturing in your mind right now. 6 tipsy, loud, slightly ghetto girls, yapping about money, sex, men, fashion, other girls, and laughing so hard we almost pee ourselves. Our set up looked classy, but we are not, ha. We met at my friend, Lisette’s apartment and it is totally chic. You can tell she is a fashion student. She has fashion art on her walls, and a mint blue leather tufted sofa, Vera Wang wedding, Vogue, and other fashion books as coffee table reads. It was one of the best Valentines Day I have ever had. Your girls never let you down and I think any girl can agree that our true soul mates are our best girlfriends anyways right? 

When in Hollywood…

DSC_0978 DSC_0985 DSC_0990 DSC_1000  DSC_1006 DSC_1007 DSC_1127  DSC_1130 DSC_1135 DSC_1147 DSC_1150 DSC_1152 DSC_1158 DSC_1163

My friend Cecilia lives in Hollywood and I spend a lot of time there. A lot of our pictures are taken in Hollywood and I never cease to be amused by all the loonies there. I actually get quite grossed out by Hollywood lol, well the part where the tourists are and there are strung out Marilyn Monroe’s and Spiderman’s every 5 steps. Ew. I tend to over analyze everything. I am constantly observing everything around me and analyzing the situation. While Cecilia and I were walking the Hollywood strip dodging the homeless, the street performers, the fake celebrities, tourists, break dance groups, etc, my mind was racing. I felt a sense of loneliness, despite being among thousands of people. My first thought and thought I have every time, was “Does this really work for people?”  and then a string of thoughts ensued…”Do people really make a good enough living by putting on these little performances or putting on a dirty batman costume and taking pics with poor 5 year olds who don’t know any better?” “Is it the high in it all?…the attention of feeling like a “somebody” among a city of headliners?” After these questions raced through my mind, one resounding word echoed in my mind…lonliness. Everyone is trying to be a better version of themselves or at least trying to convince everyone else that they are (especially in Hollywood). People want to feel and look important (once again, especially in Hollywood), so people escape from the realities of their lives to drugs, make-believe, fantasy, and whatever the hell else they do in their spare time. It is sad. It is L.A. It is our society. But the journey along the way to wherever they are trying to get to is very lonely. As I looked at the variety of talented and talented-less people, all I could see was the part of themselves that returns home at the end of the night. They most likely return to a small, dark studio, take off all of the ridiculous make up, stare at themselves in the mirror just long enough to reflect back on the person they were before moving to this town, wondering when exactly it was they lost themselves and if it is too late to throw in the towel; But before they entertain these thoughts any longer, they preoccupy their mind with “the dream”; the dream of making it big someday and that if they just wait it out a little longer, all of the struggles, embarrassment, exiles, and loneliness will be well worth it. And if not….well this is their life now. They couldn’t possibly return back to that small town they grew up in. It is better to be among the excitement and wonders of L.A. than anywhere else. I could be totally off and my idea of what kind of lives these people live is totally far-fetched, but I feel I have some sort of empathetic understanding because I can relate. I may not be standing off of Hollywood and Highland  dressed up as a tan skinned Marilyn Monroe, but I did move out to Los Angeles to pursue my dream of working in the fashion industry. It is not any different from the people on Hollywood Blvd or anyone in L.A. for that matter. I find myself getting annoyed by listening to every waiter and retail associate tell me how they are working on a movie, a book, working in fashion, they party with celebrities, blah blah blah. But, that is what this city is all about and even though it annoys me at times, I admire the hustle in everyone. Some people come out here and get wrapped up in the glitz and glam  and the name dropping and end up living a life of perception (looking important without being important), but some people move out here and actually make shit happen and I respect that, it takes discipline. Here I am with a blog among thousands and thousands of other bloggers so I really have no room to talk. However, I do plan to back up my talk. I plan on doing something and not just living a life of perception. It is still so weird for me to stand in front of a camera and take pictures, but I understand that a blog is the best way to represent yourself (especially in the fashion world). I can take this to an employer and say “This is me!” “I picked my outfits, I picked my locations, I picked my style, this is my writing style, this is my personality….this is me!” How cool is that?! When I was 11 years old, I sketched out my own fashion magazine and debuted a new girl on the cover every month with new cover topics as well. It was a magazine that celebrated women. I have always enjoyed writing and find that it is my outlet. The fact that we live in a society now where we can get paid to work in social media and get paid to blog is [pardon my french] fucking awesome!! I am taking advantage of this while I can. I have no idea if my blog will do well, but it is a great outlet and a representation of me; It is mine and that’s good enough reason for me to do it. 

There are days where, like the Hollywood performers, I come home, take my makeup off and stare in the mirror wondering what the hell I am doing. It can all be very lonely. I feel like sometimes I am making my life harder than it needs to be, but then I realize what a stupid notion that is and if I lived my life in my comfort zone, I would forever regret it. I have had this vision for myself since I was little girl and its scary (but totally rad) that I am here pursuing it. I joined the military in hopes of gaining the tuition assistance to attend FIDM in Los Angeles someday and here I am doing it. It is kinda like a higher force is guiding me. Sometimes I don’t even know if I am the one making these decisions. I made them all so irrationally. I joined the Air Force knowing nothing about it except they pay for school. I didn’t even know if I would get accepted into FIDM, or if FIDM was covered under the GI Bill (Thank God [literally] that it was), I had actually started to change my mind on going to FIDM while I was stationed in Oklahoma City. I decided to reenlist, get married, and stay in Oklahoma City. I felt it was the safer route. Then my mom got sick and I had to relocate to California to take care of her. Deep down, I felt this gravitational pull that it  was meant for me to come back to California. Of course, it was 100% about my mother when I returned, but I also found it ironic that as soon as I had let go of the idea of ever going back home or to FIDM, I found myself back home and FIDM was once again on the table. I had desperately wanted to come back the first few years of my enlistment, dragging my feet the whole time to every new state I lived in. I even applied to get out of the military early which they approved, and then I applied to FIDM, and I got accepted, but when it came time to leave the Air Force, I panicked. My mom was up in arms that I was not fulfilling my contract to the Air Force and she was right, I took an oath and I needed to fulfill my end of the deal. The whole back and forth decision about FIDM and the military was exhausting and when it was all said and done, I finally released my hold on California and FIDM and just accepted where I was at. I felt I had a good enough life, I was living the “American Dream”. I had security, something the rest of the nation was desperate over. I was engaged, living in a brand new 3 bedroom house (bigger than my moms), I had a new car, I was pursuing my degree for free, I could retire at 38! I had a promising future, and was excelling exceptionally fast at work. Still though, like clockwork, every single night before I went to bed, I imagined what my life would be like if I took a chance and pursued my dream. The thought would paralyze me with fear. Everything would change. I fought with myself internally for months, sometimes crying myself to sleep or lashing out at my fiance due to feeling resentment towards him. I kinda laugh when I look back at it now because if you care about something that much, you go after it. There is a reason you feel that way, it’s who you are and you are happiest when you stay true to who you are. Ironically enough, when I had to move back to California, I didn’t want to. I had already accepted that FIDM and California was not an option for me and while my mom never supported me leaving the military to work in fashion, right before she passed away, she saw my first blog that  I had created back in 2011 and changed her mind. She genuinely had no idea how passionate I was about fashion and for the first time, supported me leaving the military to pursue my dream. That was all I needed to move forward. I get excited when I imagine my life 5 years from now, because I wonder where I will be and what I will be doing. Following your dreams is such a beautiful thing. It is one of the beautiful rides of life. I encourage everyone to just do it. Don’t let fear paralyze you and dictate your life. Take control.

So…Yeah…..my post had nothing to do with my pictures, but it was on my heart so I figured I would talk about it. Dreams, love, struggles, intuition, dogma, purpose, etc are all topics I can talk about forever. I may only be 24, but I have gone through more things in my life than most people will ever go though. I am an old soul and wise beyond my years. Sometimes I purposely act out because I just wanna be stupid and immature, which I genuinely am sometimes. I still have a lot to learn about this thing called life, but God has also revealed a lot to me about life, starting at a young age. I may be young, but I think I get it….maybe 😉 

Ok, so onto the important stuff….what I’m wearing. 

Headband Urban Outfitters Top Madewell Jeans Madewell Bag Victoria Leather Co (got it in Mammoth, CA), Shoes Zara, Sunglasses Cheap Monday, Necklaces Dogeared Jewelry and Urban Outfitters

I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes from the late Steve Jobs, it’s very fitting: 

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs